Episode 46:

Dream Big, Plan Smart: Your Guide to Future Visioning

The Silent Crisis: When Young People Opt Out of Life

You might be doing all the right things: setting up playdates, attending PTA meetings, and balancing screen time with outdoor play. But today, I’m diving into a critical parenting strategy that’s often overlooked, despite its incredible impact—Future Visioning.

The other therapists and I at the Modern Parenting Solutions office have noticed a deeply troubling trend among some of our older teens and young adult patients. They come to us, eyes cast downward, seemingly drained of that youthful vitality we so commonly associate with their age group. At first glance, we’re often tempted to diagnose them with depression: low energy, lack of motivation, and a dismal academic performance. Yet, something wasn’t adding up.

After not having much success with these patients, I switched tactics. I began to focus not just on their symptoms but on their vision of the future—a vision aligned not just with societal expectations but with their own unique set of skills, interests, and passions. And guess what? The change was amazing! The foggy haze of listlessness started lifting, replaced by clarity and a revitalized sense of purpose.

Many of these young people had never seriously thought about their future. Sure, they might have heard their parents say they should go to college, but no one had actually sat down with them to have an open and honest conversation about what they really wanted.

The Cost of Ignoring Future Visioning

Ignoring the power of Future Visioning can lead your young person down a slippery slope of indifference, fear, and missed opportunities. I’ve seen far too many young people “opt out” of life, paralyzed by uncertainty. They end up avoiding college, shying away from the job market, and even isolating themselves from social interactions. Their lives become a haunting series of ‘what-ifs’ and untapped potential—something no parent ever wishes for their child.

So, What’s Future Visioning?

So, let’s cut to the chase: You’re probably asking, “What exactly is Future Visioning?” Trust me, you want to get this strategy in your parenting toolkit, like, yesterday.

Think of Future Visioning as your favorite coffee catch-up, but the brew is your child o rteen’s dreams and passions. These aren’t quick chats about school assignments; this is deeper stuff. You’re helping your young person map out their dreams and understand what lights them up.

The 4 Essentials of Future Visioning

So what’s the secret sauce to making this work? It comes down to four simple, yet powerful, components:

1. Collaborative, Not Dictatorial: You’re a co-pilot on this journey, not a general issuing commands. The goal is to nudge the conversation, not dominate it.
2. Child-Driven, Not Parent-Driven: This isn’t about you or your dreams. Let your young person’s interests steer the conversation. If they love video game design, go with it—don’t nudge them toward law school because it sounds impressive.
3. Dynamic, Not Static: Embrace the change. One day it’s dinosaurs, the next it’s graphic design. That’s okay; this journey is supposed to evolve.
4. Long-Term Strategy, Not Quick Fix: This isn’t a one-and-done deal. It’s a series of conversations that help your young person grow in confidence and vision. So, no matter their age, it’s never too late to start.

Let’s be real: the aim here is not just to have a one-time heart-to-heart. This is about laying the groundwork for a lifetime of purpose-driven choices. You’ll be surprised how much trust and connection this builds—not just parent-to-child, but also your young person’s trust in themselves. 💖

So, are you ready to add Future Visioning to your parenting toolbox? Because I can’t wait to walk you through how to implement it.

The 5-Step Process of Future Visioning

Let’s dive into the ‘how’ of future visioning. Remember, this is a consistent practice, not a one-time chat. There are five key steps.

Step 1: Seize the Moment
Whether it’s a car ride chat about driving or a spontaneous question about college, these are golden opportunities. Planned or unplanned, seize these moments for meaningful conversation.

Examples:

• Car talk about learning to drive? Discuss the independence that comes with it.
• Teen asks about majors? Dive into their interests and concerns.

Step 2: Spark the Vision

Engage your young person in a dialogue that uncovers their hopes and fears for the future. Be their empathic listener. Use questions like, “What could you imagine doing with your art?” or “What excites you about space?” to get them talking.

Step 3: Manage Your Emotions
It’s natural to have emotional reactions, but maintain a neutral tone. If they say they want to be a TikToker, resist judgment and ask exploratory questions instead.

Step 4: Ask Open-Ended Questions
Your questions aren’t mere conversation fillers. Use them to invite your young person to think critically, to visualize their future, and to break down big dreams into attainable goals.

Step 5: Offer Loving Guidance
Break their grand visions into actionable steps. If they aspire to be an environmentalist, suggest joining the school’s environmental club as a first step.

The Take-Home Message

Ok. So that’s everything on Future Visioning.

The key takeaway here? Make these future visioning talks a consistent habit. Yes, it might feel a bit awkward or forced initially, but over time it will become a natural part of your relationship, helping you stay connected with your young person as they grow.

Now, I don’t just want you to listen and forget. I want you to apply what you’ve learned today, because that’s where real change happens.

Don’t miss the opportunity to level up your parenting skills by grabbing today’s Homework Helper after this episode. This isn’t just an add-on; it’s your roadmap to mastering the art of future visioning with your young person. The Homework Helper is chock-full of specific examples, conversation prompts, and practical exercises that align perfectly with the strategies we’ll be discussing today.

👉 [Click HERE to download The Episode Homework Helper]

It’s designed to turn you from a listener into an A+ parent, fully equipped and ready to facilitate those transformative conversations with your child or teen. So, it’s not just about absorbing information; it’s about taking action that leads to real, meaningful change in your family’s life.

A Small Favor To Ask

If you find value in this episode or any of my previous episodes, could you take a quick moment to rate and review the show on the Apple Podcast app? Your feedback helps me reach more parents like you and to continuously provide quality content.

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Got a question for me? I’d love to answer it! Email me your question at podcast@ModernParentingSolutions.org

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