How to Guarantee Your Child’s Best School Year Yet: 3 Key Focus Areas

Are you getting all those back-to-school catalogs and emails? Is it really THAT time of year?

Honestly, I think my mailbox is about to explode with all those flyers! And don’t even get me started on the emails – I swear, if I see one more ad for discounted backpacks, I might just lose it!

These are all signs that back-to-school season is upon us, and even the kids in my area are feeling it too.

The other day, I was talking to one of my teen patients, and I couldn’t believe we were already discussing starting school in just a few weeks. The schools in my area start the first week of August. And for me, it seems like summer just started! But I digress. Let’s get back to that conversation with my teen patient.

That conversation reminded me that it’s time to start addressing the upcoming school year and the common issues that come up around this time of year with both my adolescent patients at my practice and with my private parent coaching clients. These conversations I’ve been having this week inspired this post, and I think you’re really going to resonate with what I’m going to talk about today.

Focus Area #1: Set Up a Sleep Schedule

Why a Sleep Schedule Matters

It’s not just about getting enough sleep – it’s about teaching your child or teen’s body when to power down to recharge and when to be fully ready for the day. Inconsistent sleep schedules make a young person’s body crave rest because it doesn’t know when it will get a good rest again. Research shows that regular sleep patterns help regulate the body’s internal clock, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up at consistent times.

Benefits of a Consistent Sleep/Wake Schedule

A consistent sleep/wake schedule has another benefit: it’s easier for your child or teen to wake up and get going every morning. I know you hate rushing in the morning. I know it’s annoying to deal with the constant battles to get out the door. A consistent sleep/wake schedule eliminates all that stress.

Real-Life Example: A Mom with Middle School Twins

A year ago, I worked with a mom who had middle school twin girls. Her house always felt chaotic. She felt like her twins were running the show. Can you relate to that? Feeling like you’re constantly putting out fires, just trying to survive each day?

When this mom first came to me, she was at her wit’s end. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said. ‘My twins are constantly moody and irritable. They fight with each other and with me all the time. I’m constantly being called in for meetings with their teachers about their behavior and poor grades. Our mornings are a nightmare, with everyone arguing and rushing to get out the door on time.’

The first thing I recommended was something simple: a sleep/wake schedule. A set bedtime and wake time for both school nights and weekends. She was super resistant, but she decided to give it a try anyway.

At first, her twins gave her a really hard time about the new schedule. They resisted, they argued, and it was tough. This is what we call the extinction burst – it’s when things get worse before they get better. But basically, it’s a good sign. It means you’re on the right track.

After a couple of weeks, things started to change. The twins were getting regular sleep, and she began to see the benefits. The girls got up and out the door so much easier. They fought with each other less. They were less argumentative and did better in school because they weren’t as tired. And a wonderful byproduct? She felt less stressed. She felt like she was finally being the mom she always wanted to be because she was getting her girls to school on time and arguing with them less.

Action Steps for Parents

• Set a Bedtime: Determine a reasonable bedtime for school nights and weekends.
• Create a Wind-Down Routine: Encourage quiet activities like reading or listening to music before bed.
• Consistent Wake Time: Ensure your child wakes up at the same time each morning.

Focus Area #2: Create a Routine

Importance of a Routine

Routines provide predictability, which is incredibly important for kids and teens. Knowing what to expect each day helps cut down on confusion and the temptation to be sneaky to get out of responsibilities. When there’s a set structure, your young person is more likely to get their homework done because they know exactly when it’s supposed to happen.

Benefits of a Routine

• Predictability: Fewer arguments and less stress about what’s coming next.
• Balanced Downtime: Includes time for homework, fun activities, and family connection.
• Life Skills: Teaches time management and organization.

Real-Life Example: A Single Dad with a High School Sophomore

I once worked with a dad who was a single parent to a high school sophomore. Their afternoons and evenings were chaotic. This teen had a ton of homework and extracurricular activities, and they never seemed to have time to just relax. This dad was constantly stressed, and his teen’s grades were slipping.

When this dad came to me, he was desperate for a solution. ‘I just don’t know how to keep up,’ he said. ‘We’re always running from one thing to the next, and by the time we get home, it’s a rush to get everything done.’

I told this dad the same thing I’m telling you now: create a routine. He was skeptical at first. ‘How is a routine going to help when we have so much to do?’ But he decided to give it a try.

We set up specific times for homework, activities, dinner, and downtime. The key was consistency – sticking to the schedule as closely as possible, even on busy days.

At first, it was tough. The teen resisted the new structure, and the dad found it challenging to enforce. But slowly, things started to change. The teen began to settle into the routine, and the dad noticed that their evenings were becoming less stressful. With a clear plan, the teen was able to manage their homework more efficiently, and they both had time to relax before bed.

Action Steps for Parents

• Morning Routine: Plan out what needs to be done each morning for a smooth start.
• Afternoon/Evening Routine: Balance homework, activities, and downtime.
• Consistency: Stick to the routine even on busy days.

Focus Area #3: Prioritize Homework

Why Homework Matters

Turning in homework, even when it’s not perfect, is key to passing classes and reinforcing what was taught in class. Homework isn’t about torture; it’s about helping your child retain and practice what they learned.

Benefits of Homework

• Reinforcement: Helps retain and understand class material.
• Skill Building: Develops critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
• Time Management: Teaches effective time management skills.

Real-Life Example: A Busy Mom with a Middle School Son

A mom came to me frustrated and embarrassed because she let being busy at work become an excuse not to check her middle school son’s grades. She admitted that going over his grades and missed work was torture for her. ‘I’m just so busy,’ she said. ‘And when I finally do check his grades, it’s a nightmare. We both end up frustrated and upset.’

I encouraged her to stick with it and to be firm yet supportive. ‘Set a specific time each day for homework and make it non-negotiable. And then once a week, check his grades and assignments. Focus on getting things done, not perfection.’

At first, it was tough. Her son resisted and complained, and she was tempted to give up. But she persisted. She created a quiet, distraction-free space for him to work and established a routine. Over time, her son started to settle into the routine. He began turning in his homework regularly, and she noticed a change. His grades improved, and he seemed more confident in class.

Action Steps for Parents

• Set Homework Time: Establish a specific time each day for homework.
• Create a Study Space: Ensure a quiet, distraction-free area for homework.
• Weekly Check-Ins: Review grades and assignments weekly.

My Challenge For You…

So that’s it. Those are the three areas that, if you focus on them consistently, will set your child or teen up for a successful school year. Really. They’ll have no choice but to succeed because you’ll have a system in place that helps them perform according to their true potential.

Now, here’s my challenge for you this week: Make a plan before school starts on how you’re going to address all three focus areas in your household. First, set up a sleep schedule. Next, think about your routine. Finally, prioritize homework.

Look, I know it sounds like a lot, but I wouldn’t ask you to focus on these areas if I didn’t know they worked. Personally, these three areas were big in my house – and now I’ve got a kid who’s a lawyer and one in law school. I know firsthand that these focus areas are game-changers.

And hey, if you have a friend who’s also in the trenches of parenting and could use this advice, share this post with them. You know, the one who always seems to be running late for everything and could really use a little help. Or the friend who’s always overwhelmed with their kids’ chaotic schedules. Just tell them it’s a game-changer, and they’ll thank you later.

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And always remember, Friend, I believe in you. You’ve got this.